Learning about Learning

I know its cliché, but since I’ve been in Costa Rica I’ve changed as a person. I know… most people leave to study abroad and they come back saying they’ve “found themselves” and everyone just shakes their heads and moves on with their lives because this person has obviously drank the juice and they are now crazy. I’m not going to say I’ve found myself because I don’t believe anyone ever actually “finds themselves”; however, I will say that I have grown more as a person since I’ve been here.

Since I’ve been here, I lost sense of my comfort zone because if I tried to live in it I probably wouldn’t survive. After I started freshman year, I became very introverted. Sure, I still had my same outgoing personality, but I became very shy and it took a lot longer for me to talk to people. I think that’s what happens to a lot of people though. Growing up, I wasn’t afraid of anything—I would say anything, do anything, talk to anyone—but when I came to Missouri State I was so timid. I was stuck in a little shell and was scared to come out. Once I made a couple friends, I began to warm up, but I’m still very awkward when I have to talk to people that I haven’t known for a while.

However, coming on this trip and being in Costa Rica didn’t mix with a comfort zone. First of all, I came on this trip knowing two people, Samantha and my professor Vicki Haynes. The other students and my other professor, Dr. Aram, were just people I saw in the meetings every couple of months. Sure, we would have small conversations—grocery store conversations as I like to call them—but I didn’t really know anyone. Therefore, spending an entire day with them in airports and on planes was different for me. I was forced to trust them, talk to them, and get to know them and I can honestly say that it wasn’t bad. Obviously, talking to them didn’t kill me because I’m still writing in my blog.

I also have learned to face adversity. Obviously, we all face adversity all the time, but I’ve never had to face so much at one time. I’m sure y’all can assume what I’m talking about—I’m in Costa Rica after all. Yes, language and customs. As most of you know, I know Spanish, I have taken Spanish, I am an excellent student when it comes to Spanish--- if you want me to read, write, or listen. Ahhh exactly! I can’t speak Spanish. Okay, well that’s a lie. I can speak Spanish, but I am not confident when I speak Spanish for two reasons. The first reason would be that I haven’t practiced my Spanish in a year and a half (use it or lose it). The second reason would be, and most of you know this, I don’t like to be wrong. Obviously, I believe in corrections, but I just become so embarrassed because I’m learning and I don’t want people to laugh at me if I’m wrong. However, I’ve been forced to speak Spanish all the time here with my family or to translate for others in my group. Am I right 100% of the time? No, of course not. I’m not even right 75% of the time. However, I’m trying and I’m improving and that’s all I can do to better myself. Next, it’s hard to change my ways and adapt to things here. Not much is different, but it’s hard to remember to do the little things they do here. For example, you don’t flush toilet paper—ever. I can’t figure out how this is sanitary, but that’s what they do so I have to go along with it. Also, they go by “Tico Time” which means everything starts late—punctuality is nonexistent. When you have speakers presenting at 8—they actually come and start at 8:15. It’s really hard to not check what time it is. I’m trying to live by “Pura Vida” which means easy living or relax, but not starting on time has always and will always make me anxious. Another thing is that they are very affectionate. I’ve never been one to touch others so the fact that my mamatica gives me a hug and kiss every day before I leave and when I arrive home from school is slightly awkward. Also, there is a girl in my group, Aubrey wanted to make it into my blog, that I have to walk home every day and we have to link arms when we cross the street because she’s scared.

Being here is different. That’s all I can say to really describe it. It’s not different because they live so much differently than we do in the United States because they live pretty much the same. It’s just different because I’m not able to live within my little bubble of familiarity like I do in Springfield. I have to depend on practical strangers so my guard has been let way down which is very unlike me—usually I have a large barrier guarding me from the outside world. All in all, I’m just kind of rebuilding myself while I’m down here. I’m working on my empathy, dependability, and my connections with others. Its not bad, just different.

I think this will help me in my future though because it helps me relate to the people that I will meet that are out of their comfort zones. It helps me relate to the students I have or the players I coach when they say something is hard. It helps me realize that everyone struggles with things in a different manner.